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Tag: gender

A Tainted Pick, No Matter What

Brett Kavanaugh will be confirmed to the Supreme Court tomorrow. Call me jaded, prescient, resigned, pessimistic, whatever. My prediction is based solely on history and my complete lack of faith in our Senate Judiciary Committee (and by extension, our Senate) as a body when it comes to issues of this nature. Maybe it’s because I’m 56 and I have seen the majority in that group show their disconnectedness to real America to the point of ad nauseum. But if it’s a glimmer of hope you want, here goes. They are going to pay a massive price for this. The...

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The Fallout of Party Hardy

A few years ago when a dear high school friend died, I took out my yearbook to reminisce a bit. One of the things that surprised me was how many times I saw a variation on this theme in what my classmates wrote: “To a girl who was at all the parties … ” It made me laugh. Like most, I did a lot of experimenting with alcohol in those days and it was easy to get into clubs because the legal drinking age was 18. So not only did we have house parties, we were sneaking into bars. In the context of the current national conversation around the nomination of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, those days keep coming back to me in a variety of ways and have me thinking: If I had been sexually assaulted back then (I wasn’t), would it now be assumed that I had been asking for it because I’d been drinking? I didn’t gather friends and gang up on anyone unsuspecting and violate their bodies or their dignity using my tipsy state as an excuse for bad behavior. And I certainly wasn’t a member of any club that encouraged the denigration of others as part of its code and/or admittance. While I certainly couldn’t recall dates and locations for every party I went to, I can tell you exactly where...

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Tapping into ‘Heroic Compassion’

Let’s talk about behavior and politics and our new world order. Not only am I struggling to find my place in the latter, but I find myself judging people’s apathy or – and this is key – their perceived apathy. I don’t know how you CAN’T be angry right now. I don’t know how you are posting little ha-has about your book or your business or sharing memes with clever quotes while the world as we know it is burning to the ground. Maybe I envy you? Maybe when the Great Creator made me and lined up my cells...

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From Pink Hats to Purging Our Pain

Who knew that when Donald Trump promised to create jobs he meant for the mental health industry? Shrinks are on speed dial. From casting couch to therapy couch. We’ll take it, though. In some warped way, it’s a silver lining. As we crossed over the year mark that this country inexplicably put this president into office, I’ve been thinking a lot about all the sexual harassment and sexual assault allegations that are bubbling up on a daily basis. So much buried anguish surfacing and bringing fresh pain. Ripple effects keep coming in seemingly never-ending waves. Another victim. Another accused. Men who expose themselves. Men who exploit powerful positions. Men who rape. Men who cajole via word and deed. On some level I want to issue a big thank you to our esteemed president, for he has unwittingly set the tone for this uprising. A Hillary Clinton presidency would have us in a very different place, of course. Certain legislative progress that would benefit a wide range of Americans. Definitely less embarrassment of how we’re being represented both here and abroad. More and better sleep for a lot of us. But would we have had the mostly gender-based upheaval we’re experiencing now? I don’t think so. Let’s assume Harvey Weinstein would have still been exposed by The New York Times and The New Yorker. We would have likely attributed it...

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Black Behavior? Or Male Behavior?

It is fascinating that while so many are watching the rioting in Baltimore and labeling it as essentially ‘black’ behavior or a ‘black’ way to deal with anger, no one seems to be viewing it from the lens that it is essentially male behavior. Not all male behavior. Let’s clear that up right here. Check your ego at the door, guys, and open your minds Pull out the lens and get the wider shot of our country and our world — what do you see? I see males shooting up schools and movie theaters and malls when they feel...

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