At this point in this particular presidential election year, I don’t know if there’s anything more exasperating than the undecided voter.

Who the hell are you people that can’t decide between Joe Biden and Donald Trump? Seriously. Have you just emerged from a cave?

You’re wealthy and don’t give a crap about anything but how high your taxes are? Trump.

You watched The Apprentice and still can’t be shaken from your belief the guy is a genius businessman despite enough proof to fill one of his gaudy gold high rises? Trump.

The stick up your butt is so tight that you think you can decree that every pregnancy must be brought to term? Trump.

As we approach the first presidential debate of the 2024 election this week, an event I don’t know if I can even stomach, I am appalled if not surprised at commentary around host CNN’s objectivity, or lack thereof, towards Trump. I’m so over pre-debate coverage. And I am trying to picture who we’re even staging this debate for. Who is this dumb that a gaffe from either of these men will sway their vote?

Are we supposed to expect CNN to treat them equally on a debate stage? To give them the same scrutiny in coverage?

No. Nope. I’m shaking my head vigorously.

One of these men staged an insurrection against the government he led at the time, based on a lie he knew was a lie about the 2020 election. He stole classified documents when he left the White House, lied to the FBI about it, and is under indictment for it. In that pending court case, the presiding judge – whose decisions are not holding up well to legal scrutiny — has managed to delay the case indefinitely.

Innocent until proven guilty? Yes. But, as attorney Harry Litman writes in The Los Angeles Times, “The upshot is that what should have been the most cut and dried of the four criminal cases against Trump — a case in which his lawlessness is patent and uncomplicated — is highly unlikely to proceed to trial before the election.”

But here’s the best part. Even if he was found guilty of those crimes two days before the election, would all these yahoos still vote for him?

Of course they would. It’s a hoax. A witch hunt. It’s rigged, I tell you.

However, I come back to you, undecided voter. What’s your big dilemma? What has you on the edge of your seat?

Maybe read Project 2025. If that doesn’t scare you, perhaps Trump is your man. Felonies, be damned.

By all means, let’s treat this guy like a normal candidate and not a hostile sociopath trying to impose authoritarianism on our country.

You want objectivity in this debate? Donald Trump is objectively a pathological liar and criminal. He is actively jeopardizing the safety of judges, jurors and any law enforcement officers standing between him and his presidential fundraising, stay-out-of-jail scheme.

Surely people are jesting with the objectivity crap.

He has clowned the dignity around our elections and court proceedings to the point that it might be irretrievable. You put people in positions of power to keep you out of jail while you crime? Accuse anyone who presents piles of evidence of your guilt of being corrupt?

Enough.

Again, I don’t know if I’m watching this debate. There’s a Hall and Oates cover band at the Hoboken waterfront that night that might be just the salve I need. But either way, why are we doing the pre-game nailbiter ritual like this is normal?

Kindly alert me when Biden opens the Capitol gates to weapons-wielding zealots and we’ll talk fairness. When members of Congress and their staffs aren’t hiding under desks and locking themselves in rooms from amped-up nut jobs, many of whom, by the way, are now in prison awaiting pardons from their esteemed cult leader.

CNN has its work cut out for it. These Trump supporters have gone over to the crazy side. Here’s my favorite fact to make that case — he convinced a huge swath of Jersey Italians that Robert DeNiro is the enemy. Forget about it!

I can see where some of you are undecided, though. This is quite vexing.

Get a hold of yourself.

Vote for the guy who is currently in the White House, doing his job, not advocating for the suppression of our history, not banning books, not threatening reproductive rights, gay rights, civil rights. If faith is important to you, vote for the guy who actually practices his religion but knows it shouldn’t be imposed on everyone. Google is your friend – use it to find out what he’s accomplished in three-plus years because it’s a lot.

This isn’t even remotely hard.

[Editorial Note: This is my 21st installment in a series I began in order to give my writing some flow after being in a healing phase from knee surgeries for a year (2023-24).]