Mirna: Nancy when you met me in 2007 did you ever think you would ever see me in a ball gown?
Me: No.
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When I met my life coaching client, Mirna, 17 years ago, she was living at the Hoboken Homeless Shelter. I had gone to a shelter fundraiser a few weeks before and had met the director. Afterwards, I reached out and asked her to hand pick someone at the shelter who might benefit from coaching (pro bono), but also be responsible and show up for our appointments.
Enter Mirna, a young, educated woman who had hit a rough patch and was dealing with mental illness. (Full disclosure, I have her permission to talk about some of this publicly). We began meeting every Thursday afternoon at Panera.
The reason for our 4 p.m. sessions was that I was dealing with some struggles myself and had an administrative “money” job in New York City that ended at 2 p.m. each weekday. The idea was to build my coaching practice and freelance writing portfolio after I got off work at the day job. I thought a volunteer gig would help ground me in my overall purpose post-9/11, to assist others in self-actualizing.
As the years went by and I got to know Mirna, I became familiar with her dreams, her singing talent, her love of dolls and all things Disney, and the fact that she had earned a degree from Rutgers. She had some experience in social work, so was acquainted with the language of healing and moving forward with goals.
There were some excruciating bumps for her at the shelter, including navigating treatments until she landed on the right one, but eventually the staff there helped her transition into her own home in Bayonne; with some assistance from government programs, she has been living there ever since.
Over the years we went from meeting in person every week to mostly having sessions on the phone every other Thursday; these are still happening. When Mirna turned 40, we made a day of it and saw Cinderella on Broadway. There may have also been some Junior’s cheesecake involved — haha. Last year around her birthday we saw the Barbie movie at Newport Mall and grabbed a slice at Cheesecake Factory.
As her 50th birthday approached over the last year, Mirna was unwavering in her vision – she was going to preside over a party she would throw herself dressed as Cinderella. Princess for a day. I was encouraging, but in all honesty, wasn’t sure this was going to work. Could she get it all to come together? I was like a mother nervous for her child.
Well, let me tell you …
She picked out Cinderella-themed invitations. One friend helped by making lanterns for each table in the banquet hall, each one decorated with pumpkin stagecoach stickers and anchoring gold star balloons. Also, the place cards on the entry table came with little glass slipper holders.
When I arrived, Mirna was radiant in a sparkling royal blue gown, hair up, rhinestone earrings. As I was introduced to family and friends, I was greeted in almost every instance with, “Oh, you’re the life coach! Mirna says glowing things about you” or “She is doing so much better since working with you.” I was floored.
Her brother-in-law is a DJ, so the music provided a perfect backdrop, whether it was Disney princesses singing from movie soundtracks as we enjoyed the buffet or an excuse to hit the dance floor. Livin’ La Vida Loca, indeed.
However, the music also provided a moment of beauty when Mirna decided to honor her parents, who died within a few weeks of each other during COVID. They had just celebrated their 50th anniversary the year before. She spoke of them lovingly, as well as Sister Norberta from the homeless shelter who passed away recently. Mirna sang Josh Groban’s You Raise Me Up and then blew bubbles from a little canister as the sounds of Andrea Bocelli’s Time to Say Goodbye filled the room.
It was beautiful. I held back a sob and wondered what had ever made me doubt she could pull this off. Now who’s coaching who? Seriously. I preach self-love and self-care all the time – wasn’t this the ultimate execution of that? My God.
Mirna got what she deserved with a capital D. I like that she knew what she wanted and made it happen. I got a chance to pause for a moment and realize I’d done something very right by forging this relationship; I was so proud of her.
I gave Mirna satin pillowcases with a Cinderella theme and I hope every night she lays her head on them and remembers what she made happen.
The lesson?
You want to be Cinderella for a day? Be Cinderella for a day.
Put on that ball gown and have at it.
[Editorial Note: This is my 33rd installment in a series I began in order to give my writing some flow after being in a healing phase from knee surgeries for a year (2023-24).]
