Why do I feel vindicated?
How did a few hours of testimony and video from the January 6th House Committee cause so much relief to bubble up to the surface from some troubled place inside of me?
Because, contrary to what Kevin McCarthy says, I was not responsible for the mayhem that took place at our regal Capitol building on that stain of a day. I was minding my own business, trying to prepare for a Zoom meeting with a colleague, when I had to text her to say my preoccupation with what was unraveling in Washington, D.C. was messing with my ability to be ready for our session.
She thought I was referring to some standard protest, the kind that happens there all the time. No, I said, turn on your TV. Suffice to say, our meeting never happened.
I was undone. And I’ve spent a year-plus attempting to understand how anyone with eyes could see that in real time and shrug it off as a tourist visit or no big deal. Democrats and never-Trumpers just trying to bring down their guy again – *eyeroll*
Seriously, though, imagine the kind of propaganda you’d have to peddle to get reasonable people to believe bullet-proof vests, seething anger, a noose, weaponized cattle prods and flagpoles, and, yes, dead human beings add up to “On your left, we have a statue of Thomas Edison …” Sign me up for that tour. I’ve always wanted to die at the hands of some crazed white supremacists amped up by a reality TV star who just happens to be the commander-in-chief of the most powerful nation on Earth.
Last night, watching that hearing under the impressive leadership of Bennie Thompson and Liz Cheney, my need to understand those folks began to melt away. My need for them to “get it” dissipated somewhere between Bill Barr saying “bullshit” and Capitol police officer Caroline Edwards talking about slipping on blood mostly shed by her co-workers as the realization hit her that she was in a war zone in her very own country at her respectable job at a sacred American institution.
Maybe MAGA world still thinks this whole thing is ridiculous, but to an extent I’ve resigned myself to that from them now. I don’t care if they watched it. Or if they did watch it and feel the need to discredit it. Or whatever. Sure, it would be great if some were open and realized they’d been misled. But bottom line, I watched it for me.
It turned out to be the answer to some pressing questions in my life: Why have I blown up family relationships over Trump? Was my stance worth some friends dropping me on social media and in their lives these last few years? Why was I willing to have a good portion of my high school graduating class thinking I’m a mouthy broad who just doesn’t get the appeal of Trump?
Whew. Now I know.
Because I saw what was happening almost from day one of Trump’s candidacy and it turned out to be as shady as I thought. This is not about being right. It’s about validating that I didn’t take what I thought was a principled stand only to find out there was no there there.
With all the gaslighting going on in the country, those of us with intellect and consciences trying to pick up the shattered pieces of our relationships have had plenty of doubts.
Those are gone. After last night, poof.
I’m digging in. It’s your decision to remain steadfast in falsehoods and admire/follow a con artist. He’s been exposed. That’s on you. All I can do is stay principled, with good intent, and help the majority in this country wrest control from an ill-informed minority.
You don’t see it that way? Welcome to factual America, where I can back up my statements with verifiable facts and court documents and you have the word of a disgraced, twice-impeached president. Oh, and a hunch that because Joe Biden didn’t fill arenas during a pandemic we didn’t come out in droves to vote for him.
I don’t know how so many of you became so gullible. Lots of Democrats think you’re stupid. I know you’re not, which is why I was so baffled and tortured these last few years.
No more. I’ve seen the “dialogue” leading up to the Jan. 6 hearings and it’s gone something like this:
It was ANTIFA!
OK, let’s investigate.
No. What about the migrant caravans and inflation?
But don’t you want to take ANTIFA down?
Nah, not today.
I’m done. Vindicated.
Your conscience is yours. Dip your life in MAGA red.
I’ll be over here, breathing easier.